If you're a parent, you probably have less time than you did before you had kids. What if that lack of time was a gift? A new constraint against which to ingenuity, creativity, and discipline? That's how I look at it, and what this post is about. # How much time _should_ you spend with your kids? How much time is enough? What is the "right" amount of time to spend with your kids? Fair warning, I don't have an answer, but i have some thoughts. Let's cover the extremes quickly: - None of your time. It feels obvious this is not the answer, at least not for me. - All your time. This too feels easily wrong, although perhaps not as obviously as the other extreme. Let's focus on the latter to see that the ideal amount of time must be somewhere in between. If you spend all your time on your kids you won't have any time to get other things done. If there are _any_ other things you want to get done in your lifetime, then this is clearly not a good option. Perhaps thats a slightly unfair characterization of all your time, since your kids will eventually grow up and you will then have your time back whether you want it or not. However, so many worthwhile endeavors take hard work _over time_, such as getting fit or starting a business, that I'm strongly against the idea of putting off major projects until your kids are grown. Not to mention projects that require relative youth, which may become impossible later. So back to the question: How much time is enough? **Enough for what?** Enough to: - Play with your kids - Provide a loving household - Educate your kid(s) - Pursue your own interests These will all take time. --- # No solutions but a workaround I have not currently found the correct balance, often wishing I had _more_ free time to pursue my interests. However, I've taken the view that parenting provides an interesting time constraint. > [!example] First, use your time well > Figure out how to better use the time you do have before worrying about freeing up more of it. In other words become more effective. Make your time _more valuable_ to yourself first, then consider how to get more of it. This may not be the right approach for everyone, but I've found it provides an effective outlet for your energies when you're feeling overwhelmed by lack of time. It is not necessarily easy to reclaim more time from parenting or childcare, so your energies will turn into frustration if no constructive outlet is found. Improving how you effectively use your own time, that's the outlet. View your time constraint as a gift, an opportunity to become a more productive self.